Quickie From Brookey

First. Reachhhh, would not miss an Aficomen Hunt if my life depended on it. That is the funniest thing I've ever heard. And by then I WILL be off the cooks lou-ooks diet and I can eat matzah...although it does constipate me...

xoxoxo brookey

BOATHOUSE BENEFIT--rachel bezner

Hello all,

My synagouge, Temple Beth Shalom, is having a Benefit this coming Passover. They are throwing it at the Booothouse(boathouse) in Central Park. It is a full blown Aficomen Hunt. It's gonna be suueeeee ammeeeezzzing. You donate some money to the Siddur Fund (my Temps needs a bunch of new siddurs cuz of the major flood last year...remember when my mom was having a board meeting and she leeeeek literally almost floated away...she said she saw like torahs and yammakahs and hannukah candles like floating too...she felt super Jewish that day..)

So come on the biggest Aficomen Hunt in the world (are you zyyyyinngggg...an aficomen hunt, if that is not beyond rangoon funny what is? right though?)

lives, loves, laughs

reaccchel bezner

p.s. i emailed Chad back. You're gonna faint when i read it to you...

Smoking A Butt

I just got an email from Chad

"Bezner...holy shit! I can not believe i saw you. You look incredible. You seem really well. Man. You're really married, huh? Me too. Weird right? I could swing by, pick you up and drive up to Syracuse. Walk around the quad, get some shit at the bookstore and grab a late night bagel. Any interest? Just kidding. We're married. Okayy...well, I guess we are both in the city. Maybe I will see you on a subway or...that sounds so stupid. Rachel Bezner..wow."

Okay you guys, I am smoking my first butt in 7 months. Don't worry I got the ginseng cigs. I am emailing from my blackberry like a crazzzzyyy 15 year old on a teen tour. Why did you all move to Scarsdale? I hate you guys.

Love you more than...

Bezner

p.s. Steeeeeceeee, From Brooke

Stace, thanks for reminding me about the event that caused me to have multiple eating disorders...I can't believe that asshole called me a Fat Pig...I definitely wasn't nicole ritchie back then but come on...but all these years later I still cry thinking about how Rachel Bezner stood up for me...Bezner, I knew there was a reason I split my first ever necklace with you....BF's 4-evs.

xoxo Brooke

Parkman and Lemmer

Hi it's us. we are so fuckin' stoned right now. We are sitting on Lemmer's couch--all kids are sleeping and fuckface Peter (i know he is fucking the girl at his office but i don't even care because i'm eating better pussy than he is) is at mini golf with Lemmer's Amazing, kind, good husband. Ofcourse I ended up with the Phi Psi reject-- you guys were so adamant that I go to the formal with him because you...one of you...jerked him off and said his cock was huge...who was it? Bezner...had to have been Bezner? Bez, were you kind of slut in college...so stoned....but you can't be jewish and a slut...slut is only for catholic girls right? wrong? i don't know...lemmer is literally filing her big toe nail and remember how she does it where you can hear it...brookey, you used to throw up from it...i am gonna smack the fuckin' file out of her hand...lemmer looks so cute you guys....(no not gonna go down on her...) fuck Peter...i love you hookers...Kara (parkman)

REACHELL BEZNER AGAIN

Waiittttttt, Brookey could i miss you more? Um, let me answer that...NOOOOOO!!! I bet you look so prets-lou-itts....

I am taking you skinny shopping--don't even say NO. I have my discount card. And by the...how is your Josh Hartnett hubby? Q believe Jaime fully looks like Josh Harts?? Can I accidentally blow him one time....J TO THE KKKKKKKKKKK, Brookeyyy, not in a million?

By the ....did you see my post about me seeing Chad? Are you ZYINNNGGGGGG?

lives, loves, laughs

reachelll bezner

Brooke Adell Here!! Hi

Oh My G_D!! I miss you guys more than deserts miss the rain (and more than I miss cookies and cream.) You guys are gonna literally have a coniption fit when you see how skinny i am. My mom was doing the cookie diet and you know me with cookies (these girls used to call me Brookey Monster...cuz of Cookie Monster.)

So cut to now...3 months on the cooks lou-ooks diet and my twins don't even recognize me. I know i was supposed to come to kara's tavern on the green thing but i was waiting to lose a few more elbs(pounds)

I can't believe i am blogging about this...you guys, can people who are not in the c.g.h.c. read this? please say no. Are like all our 'Cuse friends gonna read this? Oh my G_D, if so....what up Kieth...hey Davey Dimples...

Love you so much....

Brookey

p.s. reachellll, did you see you in the Hamptons magazine...I fully plotzed you looked beyond rangood good.

Bezner In the House

What's up everyone. It is me, Rachel (reaaachhhhel) Bezner. Thanks for the props in your post, Stacey. Love you more than life. I randomly ran into Chad Palmer last night. Any of you who went to Syracuse with us remember the supercouple love story of me...Rachel Bezner and Chad Palmer.

Chad's family owned the sickest bagel store in Syracuse...Bagels, Bagels and More Bagels. Chad managed it when we were students. We fell in love like first day freshman year. We were like made for each other because we were both pretty and came from money but it was deeper than that. We both loved reading on vacations in Boca...Broken Sound Rules...

Anyway, Chad cheated on me with some whore from the musical theater department. And that was it for me. Even though I still blatantly loved him I was all about hating him. And then we made up a few years later after we both went abroad. he came back bi-lingual ....cuz he went to spain...i came back cultured...england...and i thought our relationship was gonna come to tuition.

It didn't. And now I'm married and he was walking thru Union Square last night. And he is like no joke, so hot it's weird. And I was like "Rachel and Chad...Chad and Reeeeachhhel." I gave him my email. Creeeeeeezyyyyyy.

Lives, Loves, Laughs

rachel Bezner

An Open Letter From Stacey

Hey readers, my name is Stacey Kaplan and I am a founding member of Cool Girl Hate Club. We like started C.G.H.C. years ago when we were freshman at Syracuse University. We were super anti sororities and we were the most popular group on campus and we hated annoying people so we came up with the Cool Girl Hate Club. Our very own sorority. The actual real reason was that in our second week of college, frosh year, I was at a bar with Rachel Bezner, Kara Parkman, Adina Lemmer and Brooke Adell. Some douche bag, Jay Rothberg, called Brooked a "Fat Pig." Bezner got so pissed she made like the biggest scene ever at the bar and Jay Rothberg was like "What? Am I being insulted by the little Fat Jewish Girl Club?" and out of left field Bezner was like "No. You're being insulted by the Cool Girl Hate Club." It was sick. Genius. Bezner instantly positioned herself as our fearless leader. Nearly ten years later we are still together. We are still the Cool Girl Hate Club. We all basically live in New York City or Scarsdale or Cherry Hill. Some of us are moms. Some of us are rich. Some of us are not. But we live for each other. This is my welcome letter to everyone out there. I am sure all the girls will be posting their own welcome letters.

Be The Change You Want to See In the World (my fave quote from ghandi)

xoxo Stacey

FLAT BAGELS for EX FAT GIRLS

New York lives for their new flat bages. But guess what? It's just a beeegell that is leeek flattened. So if you were leeekk a chunky girl (but had pretty eyes) and are now anorexic in prep for college, don't be fooled A. by the rocks that i got B. by the flat beeeegs. Stick to scooping. Scooping has been working since we, the Cool Girl Hate Club, started blatantly scooping at S.U. in '97.

Lives, Loves, Laughs....

Rachel Bezner